Based off of: May I Feel Said He by E. E. Cummings

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We’re breaking said she

I’m aching said he

I’ll come back said she

Oh Jackleen said he

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I’m leaving said she

You’ve left me grieving said he

You’ll live said she

It’s hard to forgive said he

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I hear your plea said she

Talk to me said he

I can’t said she

But your transplant… said he

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That’s enough said she

Wake up said he

I’ll always love you said she

Oh God above said he

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You’re breaking said she

You must’ve been aching said he

I’m losing our chat line said sh–

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…There’s that flatline said he

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Where are you now? said he

But our vows said he

Please come back said he

Oh Jackleen said he

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May I Feel Said He is a poem I have admired from the moment my eyes came upon it… And not only because Tom Hiddleston was reading it to me! (In an audio of course!)

What can instantly throw someone off is the repeated occurrence of the words “he said” and “she said”. In the feedback from my friends it was often brought to my attention that they felt it was too much.  It was only when I pointed out that it was based off a poem by E.E Cummings they realized why I made this choice. However, I’d also love to dig deeper into the reasons as to why I love the idea of this poem so much.

It is so simple, yet so beautiful in the way it presents a love story so complicated. The situation illustrated in the poem is one where talking is limited, and doesn’t leave much opportunity for long sentences. He said, she said is a perfect way to display the circumstance at hand. I may also add that I feel the rhyme scheme ties it all together. Rhyming to me gives a poem a smooth feeling, and almost draws you in. It makes you “awe” and smile with joy when the words fit together like puzzle pieces. This is precisely why May I Feel Said He is a poem that inspired me to write my own version.

I had originally started the poem as a story of a breakup, and the feelings that transpire in result of it. As I started to read over my progress, I took notice that the conversation felt almost one sided… As if the man wouldn’t acknowledge the woman’s answer. It then came to my mind as a picture of a man desperate for his wife (in a coma) to wake up, as she is desperate to have him know that she isn’t gone yet but things will be okay in the end.

I wanted to write a story about undying love, even through all the death that plagues it.

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GIF Creds:

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/ae/4f/bf/ae4fbfe960742dc0b9ff2e0b98e3681f.jpg and editing by me.